“Because it's of my own volition.”

It's so difficult to leave you alone, I can't sleep. I know you're angry, I'm sorry.
It's from the bottom from my heart that I love you, I never lied to you.

Baby we had a good 8 months, we're gonna have more.
Today I was wrong, I should have told you immediately, but I didn't, I was waiting for you.
It's my mistake, I know it's my fault. And I admit it.

Baby I'm not a faker, I'm not a pretender. Only you know me inside out, believe me please.

I'm waiting for you, always waiting for you.

I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart

Today was a w e s o m e. Actually just the night with you made my day babe. <:
Haha I haven't exactly blogged about my life since... ! And uh, I feel like doing so now because I'm so excited to pen down how much fun we had today, hehehe.
Memories4everrrzzzzz :)
Here goes, Watched Rapunzel! And omg the chameleon's so cute I wouldn't mind having one.
Rushed to da bus stop cause it was gettin' late, & we took the lift at the Pan Pacific Hotel OMGGGGGGGGGG I always wanted to get in that lift, we'll go all the way up next time. ^^ And while we were crossing the bridge, I said 'what if 36 turns round that corner.. then we'll' AND 36 CAMEEEEE SO WE RAN. We would've caught it, the bus turned out of the bus lane! And someone else who was nearer tried to stop the bus but they missed it too, lousy driver. Hahahah but it was fun running like crazy dudes.
And he missed his bus home too, it was behind our bus, then it went infront, stopped at the same traffic light(and I was glad cause I thought he could've hopped on the bus and get home quick) but it didn't stop at the next stop. :
| Haha, (bad bus luck), it was still fun! ^^
Hehe we had a race to my lift, but he cheateddddddddddddddd. Nawww he jumped over the bushes(short ones).
Okay but I have to admit you're a super fast runner. (I like!)


I don't care if you're broke.
Or boring.
Or blah blah blah.
Cause I love you and that's it!
All that 'one day' and 'one fine day' ain't gonna happen :)






A's is over.
And I'm so bored!

I think I need to plan what I should do the next few months, or snugging up at home like this will just make me die of boredom. Hehe.
But okay, A's is over and I'm more than happy!


Aye yes I realised I haven't posted proper in weeks. Haha I think i've had my nerd mode on lately, well not willingly, maybe 50%. See my phone kinda died on me so I've had my distractions cut off abrubtly. No twitter, no internet, no facebook, no apps. (Pretty sad) but it makes me sit and study, seriously.

So much has happened recently, & it all felt so good. More than good, incredible.

I don't know/care if you'll ever read this, but I never felt this contented with anyone else (: 'With you around, I can leave the whole world behind' I really can, give everything up, runaway, just me and you. I never felt this way, never wanted to share my entire life with anyone.

So please don't leave, cause that's what I said I will do from the start.


Take my hand, take my whole life too.

'Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time that you've never had it before.'






Today, right now. I'm gonna listen to this song, let it flow through me, I'm gonna feel how i once felt and for all of it that never were it's the end, the end to it. All of you, of everything that never were. Everything, even the memories.

I wanna open myself up to love, it's so amazing so captivating I have no reason to close myself in any longer yes get that trepidation out of me.


It's like being caught in a colourful swirl. It's breathtaking, it's love.


Happygirlyay
Because everything changes, & with that 50-50 chance of being lucky, I think I got that. Yipee!

The pages will continue flipping with a change in the story yet to come. My task is easy.

Wait.

This doesn't feel very good, neither does it feel right. But it's okay, an Aries is always mentally prepared for such scenes before it happens. Read it online. And I really am (:


Maybe I read too much into it, but whatever I just saw made me do this. (Lock your dignity right beside your heart) because when your heart says something and its wrong(in some ways), listen to what's beside it and keep that fucking dignity. You suck, that's the only conclusion I can come to. I swear I have had enough of you doing only what you want to, fuck you. Today's the end of it, there's nothing left, (nothing from the start anyway). Just feelings. Bye whore;you're so cheap. Bye jerk; you two make a perfect team.


The lines connecting us are becoming so blur(or was there even any),
that i think it's gonna evanesce soon(maybe it already has).
Bye you, :]
-
I think I've changed my impression of __ people and my impression of __ became worse because __ are always so fucking noisy and their kids always snap outta control(like boom). They throw things around and they fight and they literallly pollute the entire area with their noise cause they lost within their mini fights and they start crying and screaming away.
Per contra, this all heart __ offered me her mobile phone when my battery died because I couldn't locate the payphone.

Okay Imma end abruptly today.

Everyone's busy.
Everyone's pretty much in their own world.
Where's mine?

That, I Love You is a big word.

I can't upload picturessss using my phone. ): Oh well then its gna be all wordddddds. Prolly upload some when I'm on my comp. (Y)
Imma catch some sleep.

I just downloaded a blogger client through the android market. I'm thinking I should update this space pretty soon, it's been empty for awhile now.
But I'm stressing it musn't impede my study sessions. (Or so I hope)

Noisy places fill up the spaces.



I've found my motivation to study & that's really awesome. I think itz cause' of da awesome place. Serene, quiet, no distractions(other than my phone). Funny how I always look forward to studying there.
I just hope it works.


I know some truth so hard to swallow.
But sometimes we confuse our feelings with the truth.
I guess it's time i start facing up to my feelings & stop running away. I don't wanna be stuck in this cycle for too long. I know how I feel but I am sure too what won't happen even if I do.

Breathe you out
Breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
you’re the one who could have been
And my eyes see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away but it never disappears
I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don’t look back

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

So let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
Watch me now and I’ll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you
Even when I cross the line
It's like a lie I’ve told a thousand times

And part of me still believes
When you say you’re gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever

Please do.

I've found my motivation to study & that's really awesome. I think itz cause' of da awesome place. Serene, quiet, no distractions(other than my phone). Funny how I always look forward to studying there!
I just hope it works.


Right now everything just seem so fine. I wish it'll stay this way. Sometimes it's just precarious.
I think making decisions are a chore.
And I keep sneezing and sneezing and sneezing and...... Itz really annoying ):
School tomorrowz. Argh, why won't they let us off on a Saturday.




That's one huge problem unsettled.

Me love ma new found study spot (:


I could do this all day long. Think about everything that's on my mind, maybe sort out what's wrong & what's worth. Then conceivably, everything will be fine. But time won't permit ): And how will a bed float on water anyway(maybe it does, it just doesn't make sense).
Hahahah, I always happen to think of nice quotes(somehow), just before I fall alseep. And every single time I swear I'll keep it in my brains and note it down the next morning. But somewhere, somehow when I'm up...... I can't remember. So today I grabbed my phone before I fell into slumberland and typed.

'One day h'll watcs the sunset with you, I just don't knoy who'

Oh I caught a glimpse of the sunset before lying down, I must've been thinking about it. And I must've really tired, I didn't remember typing that till I checked my drafts like prolly 2 hours later.

I guess I'm going woozy trying to squeeze so much into my head. Imma remove unwanted stuff soon. And put like math, physics, chemistry, econs in. Soon. (!)




So this is how I end my week. New fav bag, leather slippers, & probably a confirmatory end to something special. But itz okay, there're 2 sides to everything no?
-
In 2 days.
I need to focus.
Heart, mind, soul.
All in, one time, one chance.

If best is what I can do, I'll do my best. :)
Better keep to my word cause this 365-day project is reaching its due date soon.




I guess that's about the whole point. I prolly went crazy in the wee hours of the morning. Now i'm awake, brains thinking fresh, eyes wide open. :) Ain't this just awesomez.
I'm making my way to PP again laterz, & I'm betting I'll buy Koi again though everytime I promise myself not to. I succumb to temptations easily, & this is bad. Arghs. I like this picture a lot, I have no idea why.


And on a second note, I want my HTC Legend & i'm gonna set that pretty picture as my wallpaper. Teehee. Idk I want a new phone, just not an iPhone I guess, too common and too user-friendly.
_

Do you have something in the corner of your mess somewhere that you know itz there & it should be thrown away but you never ever will? Well I do and I kinda remember where it is but I doubt i'm ever gonna take it out. Maybe I'll just misplace it someday & forget about its whereabouts. (grins)
I like the way things are now.
Just maintain status-quo.
And move one step at a time, but much quicker.

Sometimes that feeling comes back, like I miss you so fucking bad. Or maybe just these few days. What I consciously know is that I want you obliterated. But I think, what I unconsciously need. Is you. Maybe what they say is true, I still love you. But how can I? After all that you've put me through.
You're a jerk inside out.
No no no, I don't, I really don't. I don't love you. It's just how I've been thinking about it aft conversations about you with those friends, its really absurd how I think itz still possible. I've listed out scenarios, & for everyone of them that I can think of, none of it will work out.

K i'm done thanks.
All these only took probably 15 minutes of my life. I guess this is how we live, memories lingering back & fourth. I'm just human enough, that's all. (:
Can't believe I felt that way, yuck.

Hahahahahha 221AM, I need to catch some sleep.



I think i'm becoming nocturnal. I slept very late yesterday and woke up at 3pm today. This is ominous because school is starting in 5 days(argh) and i'm gonna dread pulling myself outta bed at 6am everyday.
I always think that by A lvls, i'll be armed with super academic skills. Like I'll remember every definition & formula & solve maybe 90% of the questions that's thrown at me and (blah blah). But how will that happen, I find myself in uncertainty nowadays. They say if we start right now(or was that a month ago) then it's not too late.
Sigh, A levels is scary.
I'm feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.


Sounds interesting!



I think my deepest secret- I am so in love with you, but you know nothing at all. I think about you all the time, and maybe the only time i take you off my mind is when i'm consciously tackling those chemistry questions, or in other words, studying. But between breaks or minutes of pauses, oh well.

I am adamant on loving you so please stop thinking that you'll annoy me ):
(Fingers crossed i hope you'll never read this)



I love,
√ Study sessions
√ Nonsensical jokes
√ Coffee bean
√ Walks
√ Laughs

with the usual bunch.
:)


Today, i want to be,
Invisible &
A lil less human.

So I won't feel this agony i'm in. I know, i know that this should just be chucked into the lil recycle bin at the corner of my brain. But i can't stop how i'm feeling can I?

I think i fall in love too easily.
But on another note.
I'm pretty sure you're the one i rly do love. This prolly sounds cliche but i honestly do think i'll love you forever. But only if.

So what if you're just another ordinary guy sauntering down the streets,
you'll always be that one guy who intriuge me.

Hi i love you and i hope you'll never read this.



Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

Teachers need to stop complaining.
Parents need to stop nagging.

No wait.
I need to start studying first.
:/


How did that happen, so quickly?
(But i'm lovin it)

It' the GSS and i want to shop but i'm alr broke cause i spent all my money before the GSS even started. Oh well ):

Rafael(small boy) tickles me pink.

Rafael says:
hahaha
thats what happens to greedy mosquitos
that will teach the rest of them to come and fly around while im eating
next time it'll be worse

Dionne. says:
heh
where's your humanity man
tsk

Rafael says:
hahaha
what humanity
steamboat buffet
is mine
i paid for it
it was stealing from me
thats just a very mild form of punishment
it had a quick death


That's Tan Li An. Hahahahhahahahah loveeeeeez.

Exams are finally over. But no wait, on second thought, exams are only over in Nov-Dec. Screw A levels, it's too much. Tsk.
---

Closed my eyes, let the music flow through, ain't that the best feelin'; moments of peace which makes everything feel so simple.
The world's so pretty, we should just learn to love.
Well i guess nothing's ever so easy, if only everyone were in my shoes.

Breathe.


Freeze my heart'




It's easier just to stay happy.
I'm gonna arm myself with an invisible shield; i'm gonna filter out all the bad stuff.

ILOVEME:)



So tell me what this is all about.

This thing about love?
Good? Bad? And the worse thing is that you don't even know which is for you.
'I will not fall in love', i really won't. But sometimes it's really not up to me to deicde. Are you real, are you imaginary? Who'll answer my doubts.
Do i like you, do i not? I don't know myself either.

What I know now is that i really have had enough of this shit. It's like going one big round and finding myself right back at the origin.

These few days was a flurry of emotions.
And i should have known better than to have done anything more.

So many question marks, so much unanswered.
I think i'm in quite a mess.
Gotta fix myself up.



There's a reason why some people in the past don't make it into your future, and that entire reason teaches you how to cherish, and love better than how you used to.


Love OGO5(big time).



'Right?'
Sometimes you ask yourself.
Doubting.

This time it's yes.
And i'm liking it.

Wilt like a flower, go on.



Had a mini project work gathering with Dr Choe and 1S22'10 today.
I miss them much.
(:

K time to studyz.


One step at a time, only much quicker.

An unfilled canvas, a palette of pretty colours.

(:


Everytime i wish someone Gong Xi Fa Cai,
i'll be tempted to say,
Hong Bao Na Lai(Handover the red packets).

That's damn rude no?
But it's damn right too man.
Teehee.

Money money money.
(I want)


Always look on the bright side of life.
Da da dum dum da da dee dum.
:)



I WANT TO GO TO THE IR AGAIN.
Walked around Sentosa with Htoo man.
HAHAHA BFF for life!



Exhasting list of assignments to complete.
Test to study.

But so tired ):


This is Ivan Quack(unreal surname), inside joke. Teehee.
My secondary school table buddy, remember those times when we got caught by teachers for every stupid/mischievious reason.
Fun times :D

When for Zhenci's chalet, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE GIRL. <3
And i left early in hope that i'll complete a lil bit of assignments.
But.............
HAHA TOMORROW.




Just a little. :)

YAY, because 2S18 was champion for Outdoor PE! I love my class.

The freshmen are coming next week and i'm gonna get busy being an OGL! Looking forward but at the same time worrying about how i'm gonna cope with the workload. ): When it's already taking up all day right now without much activities.

I need proper time-management skills.
Heh!